“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no more powerful way to love yourself than to forgive.
Forgiveness does not just release the other person… it releases you. And it makes room for true, internal happiness.
Here’s the thing;
You might tell yourself you were in the right and that you have every reason to be upset. And maybe this is true! But what you may not realize is that the refusal to forgive and let go leaves you imprisoned.
Would you rather be right, or would you rather be free?
When you don’t forgive, you remain captive to the pain and suffering caused by a person or an event. And the dangers of building resentment are real. It can affect how you trust, how you love, and how you align with others. It does not serve you. In any way.
Holding resentment within you even manifests in your physical health.
But most importantly, it can keep you from living your fullest potential as a thriving human being.
So why carry the dead weight of a grudge any longer?
Rewriting Your Inner Dialogue
Forgiveness can often feel impossible when you’re deeply hurt.
You can’t seem to drown out that loud voice in your head that keeps replaying what happened to you, who wronged you. Flashes of betrayal, pain, and deceit flash across the screen in your mind as you relive the event.
But holding onto these memories and allowing your thoughts to replay them is what keeps the pain alive. And that is what is making it impossible to forgive.
The inability to forgive someone who hurt you denies you emotional freedom.
Achieving freedom through forgiveness is a process. But, it is possible to alleviate the conscious or subconscious suffering immediately. To be happy, reclaim your power, and let go of the victimization, is a decision you can take right now.
To put an end to the painful story that allows you to fester resentment, you have to change your perspective on it.
This may not be comfortable. You’ll have to surrender all the ideas you’ve already convinced yourself of and see it from a new point of view.
You must;
- Recognize how the other person felt in the situation. See and feel their pain, spoken and unspoken.
- Remove your judgements from the story completely to see it objectively.
- Recognize how you participated in the event, and accept responsibility for it.
- Become empowered and recognize the human in yourself and in others.
- Accept that anger hasn’t and will never change a situation — it only poisons your spirit and creates negative repercussions.
- Recognize that your anger and reactivity is the real enemy.
- And lastly, change your perspective to realize that every seemingly negative situation is a gift. It was an opportunity sent to us, to grow.
Emotions are natural. When you feel wronged, you will feel emotions. But always remember that suffering never arises from the event itself, but from our mind’s own narrative.
And so you have to interrupt the story that your mind is telling you and repeating — which then allows you to rewrite it in your favor.
How to Forgive & Let Go
Forgiveness doesn’t let anyone or any situation off the hook.
The forgiveness process can be incredibly emotional. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, but then let that be it. Your pain is valid, but it’s not worth holding onto. There is no need to identify with those feelings or attach to the old story of how someone harmed you. You’re no longer their victim. Let it go. Become weightless without the burden of that negative energy gripping you any longer.
With forgiveness comes a detox of emotions that you’ve been carrying for far too long.
As you build the courage to forgive someone you never thought you could ever forgive, you can write them a letter, email, or a text, letting them know you have forgiven them. But don’t worry, you won’t need to send it. Do it for your own development and progress in forgiving. And try playing soft, classical music in the background as you write — music has a profound effect on the body. It helps reduce anger and stress, and promotes feelings of calm, happiness and love.
All the emotions and thoughts that you tied to that grudge can now be released and replaced with energy that will heal you and give you inner freedom. You can even imagine a cage opening, and flying out like a bird, free, at last.
The Power of Forgiveness
It is far easier to talk, read or write about forgiveness than to actually offer it to someone who caused a tremendous amount of emotional or psychological damage. But how beautiful it is to leave that as a part of who you used to be.
Forgiveness is a chance to turn a page in your personal growth and spiritual maturity.
The human experience isn’t void of pain. You will be hurt and betrayed; it’s a part of life. But because forgiveness is becoming a part of your character, you will never be weakened as the result of someone else’s wrongdoing.
Forgiveness is courage. It is power. It is love.
And above all else, forgiveness is freedom.