“Oftentimes, we bring things through from a past life that is not from this current time”. Rev. Liliana Barzola, renowned spiritual intuitive and founder ofLotus Lantern Healing Arts explained. I was quietly on the precipice of connecting pieces of this reading and the strange encounters of deja-vu that haunted me for over a year when Liliana’s words broke my wandering thoughts and shook me back into reality. As she continued, I sat on the other end of the phone line emotionally moved as I began to uncover that my curious experiences were more than sheer happenstance.
FIRST LET’S REWIND TO 2019
I was planning my wedding, running a business, and self-managing my autoimmune disease. Stress was an understatement. I was exhausted, struggling to find balance and frustrated by the ups and downs of my health when the unexpected happened. While stamping wedding envelopes and scheduling business emails, I felt a sudden, strange resonance to lush green Celtic landscapes, ancient rituals and traditional healing methods of our ancestors. A deep sense of familiarity and longing rose within me, but as quickly as the moment came, it went.
Eerily confused and yet intrigued, I let these occurrences simmer while attempting to make sense of them. But, before I could chalk it up to stress, the following morning I awoke with a certainty I’ve never experienced before. I felt a strong magnetic pull to places I’ve never been and methods I’ve never practiced. Maybe it was for my own healing path? But it felt deeper than that. Was I crazy? Perhaps. I couldn’t make sense of it, so I chose to bury it.
Over the next few months, I got married, business went on as usual, and to my dismay, the bouts of deja vu surrounding the same Celtic landscapes and holistic healing methods intensified. It was then that I decided to lean into my curiosity and did a deep dive into herbalism and devoured materia medica. In the midst of my studies, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d worked with these materials before, but the logical side of me knew that wasn’t possible. I was a 30 year old artist from New Jersey, not a Celtic druid from the 16th century.
When I asked myself why I was so confident in this approach, why it felt so comfortable, and what I was meant to do with this new skill, I was met with deafening silence. My inner voice had piped up loud and clear that one morning, but now had no other answers for me. I questioned the strange deja vu moments that fell into my life abruptly and led me here, but now, I felt untethered, lost and confused about my current path.
It wasn’t until an off-chance opportunity to have a reading with Liliana, that everything I called into question became realized by journeying through my soul’s previous lifetime.
WE BEGAN WITH A GROUNDING MEDITATION
“Imagine a light blue bubble above your head, wrapped around your whole body and tucked in under your feet.” Liliana’s calm voice set my mind at ease as I forced my eyes closed, took a breath, and followed her instructions. This bubble was to act as a filter over the course of our reading — anything that was in my highest good to hear, see or know would come in and anything that did not resonate would just hit the bubble and melt into the earth.
The tension in my shoulders softened as I tried to remember the last time I felt this at ease. Liliana continued to speak with a gentle rhythm that allowed me to refocus on myself asshe explained her process: “We will approach this reading from the perspective that we’re all intuitive, and that it’s part of our survival to have and utilize this intuition.”
CLEANSING MY AURIC FIELD
She continued to read my aura as a vibrant golden yellow and went on to explain how she reads the body by addressing the layers of energy and the corresponding colors associated with the chakras. She gently explained which chakras and layers were blocked or not in a harmonious alignment. For example, she noticed near my heart chakra, in the outermost layer of my body, was a rusty brown color that was associated with pain and betrayal. She moved the stuck energy out and soon the colors softened to an apricot mauve. Now, with this new cleared layer, fortitude, strength and setting healthy boundaries replaced the pain and betrayal that might have been deep-seeded.
As she worked with this layer, the stone fruit colors shifted to blues and greens. It was here that Liliana informed me that the blues and turquoise greens were my comfortable and calming colors and where I was able to show my true self. I immediately connected to this — as an artist, these are the colors I prefer to work and ones that I have always been drawn to. With my true colors of turquoise behind the heart, I was now able to meet the energy of the world and as my true self.
A CELTIC INSPIRED PAST LIFE AWAKENING
I took a deep breath, feeling lighter, as Liliana transitioned to the next part of our session. “Let’s play with past life stuff.” She began quietly asking my akashic records keeper to reveal a lifetime that would be relevant for where I was at this moment in my current life. Our akashic record keeper is a librarian of sorts who keeps records of every single thing that’s happened to you through time. “Your development as a soul is recorded for you”. I smiled at that thought of a magnificent library holding every story that my soul has ever lived. “Oftentimes, receiving past life information comes in pictures that take a moment to discern”, Liliana explained.I nodded as she took a long pause.
“Right now, I see a castle and it feels really Celtic to me. It feels like being walled up, being trapped in someone else’s realm.” My heart fell into my stomach as my buried deja-vu experiences rose to the surface. Liliana’s words painted an all too familiar dreamlike, whimsical image. My mind raced, recounting the cultures and traditions I’d only recently begun to explore.
Almost rapid-fire, Liliana went on to chronicle my soul’s experience in this particular past life: I was a Lady married to a powerful Lord who ruled with an iron fist as his father did before him. I was kind hearted with a will to elevate and help the people, something my husband didn’t exactly value. Anytime I helped the people within the kingdom, I would be found out and in serious trouble, (this happened on more than one occasion). So, like any passionate person wanting to continue their quest, I found a way to reach the people through a creation of an underground web of empowered women. There was great mysticism, Celtic faerie energy, and herbalism woven through this lifetime.
A MESSAGE FROM MY PAST SELF
At this moment, Liliana paused to express that this was an important message from my past self to my current self. “I’m catching you in the middle of working with your akashic records keeper to get this information.” Liliana felt as though this lifetime was chosen to reveal itself because I’d already inquired for help. “There is a part of me that is drawing from a time when the old way of doing things isn’t working to a time where there was more collaboration and understanding”. It’s like [you’re asking] “How did I do that? Because right now, I see myself as an agent of change and an advocate and I don’t have the pieces, but I feel like I’ve done this before.”
My spirit continued to relay more information from my past life to Liliana. Particularly, describing my role in a kind of underground web of women who secretly practiced ancient healing methods . My interest in Celtic mysticism and herbalism was strong—and though I could not practice—I deeply believed in their healing powers and supported other healers in the kingdom.
“You were locked away but advocating all the time. You knew the power and the medicine of connecting with the earth.”
Since I was unable to speak up because of my place as a woman during this time period, I found secret ways of sending messages to people through ornately sewn patterns on my dress and the colors of crystals I adorned myself with. I created a secret language that could silently, but boldly, communicate my opinion and messages to help the greater good.
The stakes were high in this lifetime, almost cut-throat, as Liliana described it, any misstep and someone in the underground web of women could be harmed. This responsibility laid heavy on my shoulders and unfortunately I carried this with me into this lifetime. Liliana and my akashic records keeper began to uninstall this fear along with the things that no longer serve it from this past lifetime. My heart and throat chakra were heavily influenced by this and in clearing this energy the pressure came off my shoulders and in my jaw.
After the energy cleared, my soul brought in the blue and turquoise colors which keeps me steady and grounded, but gives me permission to still help and advocate without the stakes being so high. At the culmination of the reading, Liliana summarized that my intense desire to be of service continues in this lifetime and the overarching message from my past life is to “stay the course, keep on the path and find your allies”.
LEARNING TO TRUST YOUR INNER VOICE
It was at this point I shared with Liliana my previous year’s experiences with deja vu and how most recently, they led me to enroll in an herbalism class and begin a new artwork series that explores Celtic themes, healing herbs and crystals. Though I had no logical explanation for my newfound passion, I felt at my core that I needed to explore this path.
Learning about my past life allowed me to venture that these interests had been with me all along, but I had only just awakened to them. In my past lifetime, as Liliana put it, “I was unable to play and freely explore herbalism and other methods to help others, but in this lifetime, I can.”
This unique time has given us the opportunity to reconnect with who we are and what we want. Sometimes our paths and purpose are imperceptible, but if we turn inwards, we will find all the tools inside to aid us. We have been deeply connected to our past lives all along; some might even say that our past lives are happening simultaneous to the life we are living now, (a theory for another time). Regardless of what you believe – to connect deeply with ourselves is who we are as human souls. When we delve into our inner strength and find the connection to our soul’s purpose, that is when we find our way.